Hey there, fellow swiper!
If you’re reading this, chances are you’re no stranger to the world of Tinder. But do you know the unwritten “rules” or expectations that come with using the app?
Lucky for you, we can fill you in! At The Match Artist, knowing all about what gets you more Swipes is what we do.
So, whether you’re looking to make some new friends or start a new relationship, let us take you through our top tips and advice for how to make the best first impression on Tinder.
In this article we’ll cover:
- The 5 unwritten rules of Tinder
- How to set up your profile
- The dos and don’ts of messaging and flirting
- Date etiquette
- Frequently asked questions.
Ready to get started and learn how to play the Tinder game? Let’s dive in!
What Are the Unwritten Rules of Tinder?
You might be thinking to yourself, “Unwritten rules? But I thought there were no rules when it comes to dating!”
Well, as it turns out, when it comes to Tinder (just like in all parts of life!) there are definitely some unwritten rules that most people tend to follow.
Here are our top 5 unwritten rules for users on Tinder.
1. The Less Attractive Person is Responsible for Sending the First Message on Tinder
It might sound harsh, but one of the unwritten rules of Tinder is that the less attractive guy or girl in the match is expected to start the conversation.
This isn’t meant to be a judgment on someone’s appearance or worth as a person. It’s simply a fact that in many cases people whose profiles get lots of attention might not have the time to chat to every single person they match with.
Put it this way, if you were in a room full of new people, would you wait for the most attractive person to talk to you, or would you put yourself forward first and start chatting to them?
If you find yourself in a situation where you’ve matched with someone you’re really interested in, but they haven’t messaged you yet, don’t be afraid to take the initiative and send them a message first.
After all, what do you have to lose?
Who knows — you might just be pleasantly surprised by the response you get!
And while it may seem like it’s up to the guys to always be the one to send first messages, it doesn’t have to be! If you’re a woman, don’t be afraid to Swipe Right on folks who catch your eye and initiate some text-based banter!
In fact, women who make the first move are two and a half times more likely to get a reply!
Now, while not everyone may be blessed with God-given Prince Charming looks, at The Match Artist we certainly know how to work with what you’ve got!
Remember: it’s not necessarily about what you have, but how you flaunt it!
2. Be Wary of Anyone Who Only Has One Picture on Tinder
One big red flag to look out for is if someone only has one photo on their page. It’s the same if someone has only group photos on their profile. It could make potential matches wonder what they’re trying to hide!
If someone is truly serious about finding a match on Tinder and not just a casual hookup, then it’s even more important to put in the effort to create a well-rounded profile.
This should include a mix and variety of pictures (and photos that don’t show your face properly are a big no-no!), a (short) bio, and maybe even a few prompts or questions to give someone viewing their profile a better idea of who they are.
When you work with The Match Artist, we spend around 4–5 hours taking photos of you, and then carefully edit them, so you’ll have plenty to work with for your own profile! And, when it’s time to switch things up, you’ll have an entire bank of recently-taken photos to choose from.
So, if you come across someone on Tinder who only has one picture and nothing else on their profile, it’s possible that they’re not taking the app seriously, they’re hiding something, or they’re even a dreaded catfish!
At the very least, they aren’t as smart as you, who worked with professionals to get the best results for your profile!
Best to be safe and swipe left!
3. If You Start Dating Someone From Tinder, Its Socially Acceptable to Tell People You Met on the App
Back in the early days of the internet it was a little embarrassing to admit that you met your partner on a dating site, but that just isn’t the case any more.
In fact, more and more people meet their significant others on dating apps, even to the extent that Tinder has sponsored some of their weddings!
This Reddit thread also found that the majority of people are happy to share that they met their new partner on a dating app. After all, it’s just another way of finding love and even marriage, and much less these days about one night stands (though hookups do still happen).
So, if you do end up meeting someone special, don’t be afraid to proudly declare your “how we met each other” to the world. Who knows, you might inspire someone else to give it a try and find their own happily ever after!
4. Tinder is Unbalanced and is Favorable for Attractive People
Yet another harsh truth: Tinder tends to favor more attractive people.
It’s not exactly a secret that people are more likely to swipe right on someone who they find physically attractive. After all, attraction to someone — especially on an app like Tinder — is primarily looks-based to begin with.
But here’s the thing — that doesn’t mean you should give up altogether.
While it might take a bit more effort to get matches or find someone who’s interested in you for your personality, or has shared interests and hobbies, it’s definitely not impossible.
So, don’t feel too discouraged by the seemingly-unfair odds on Tinder, and don’t give up hope! Keep Swiping, keep putting yourself out there, and most importantly, be confident in who you are.
Confidence is a very attractive thing and at the end of the day, someone is bound to appreciate you for exactly who you are — inside and out.
One of the things we really focus on with our clients at The Match Artist is facial expressions. In a photo, this can be the make-or-break moment for potential matches.
We’ll help you feel (and look) more confident, cheeky, sexy, fun, or whatever it is that you want to convey about yourself, through our specialized individual coaching sessions. Then, our incredible photographers will bring it all together on shoot day.
And while photos are a huge part of it, keep in mind what you are trying to achieve when creating your own profile. You’re more than just a set of looks and features — you’re a whole human being with thoughts and feelings.
When crafting your profile, be sure to include content that reflects who you are beyond just your appearance! Research even shows that women are far more likely to Swipe Left on men that haven’t bothered to fill out their bio, so don’t be that guy who relies only on sexy pics rather than words.
One of the keys to success on Tinder is to craft a profile that tells a story about who you are as a human being. Don’t be afraid to let your personality shine through in your photos, bio, and even the way you Swipe, engage in conversations, and send texts.
But don’t forget, you’re not just the author of your own story — you’re also interacting with other people’s stories. Be respectful of others’ boundaries and opinions, and remember that everyone on the app is a complex individual with their own feelings and experiences.
5. You Can Ghost a Match You Don't Like (Though We Don't Necessarily Recommend It)
So, let’s talk about everyone’s favorite topic — ghosting.
When it comes to Tinder, one of the unwritten rules is that you can ghost a match if you’re just not feeling it.
And though ghosting isn’t the ideal way to get out of a situation you’re not into, and can be a little rude and disrespectful, the truth is that sometimes it’s the easiest and most practical option, especially if things have taken a bit of a turn.
Of course, it’s always nice to give someone a heads-up if you’re not interested in pursuing things further (and we much prefer this approach), but at the end of the day, you’re not obligated to do so.
After all, Tinder is all about meeting new people and seeing if there’s a spark… and sometimes there just isn’t anything there.
6. Meet up with your Matches Eventually, or Stop Wasting Your Matches Time
It's not fair to your date's time to go on and on messaging with no actual intention of meeting. If you're not interested, let them know– or just unmatch to be respectful.
7. Never Send Money To Your Matches
This should be pretty obvious, but there are many scammers online looking to take advantage of vulnerable people online. Even if they do meet up with you, it may start with them having you request an uber, then paying for dinner. It can escalate where they "forget" their wallet, and slowly grow to more expensive emergencies they are having that they need help with. Be careful.
Key Takeaways
So there you have it! Now that you know the unwritten rules of Tinder, you can get out there, hopefully increasing your chances of getting matches and meeting someone compatible.
Better still, you can also avoid common mistakes and pitfalls that may lead to rejection or disappointment.
However, while it may be tempting to study all of the above and implement them to a T, don’t forget to have fun! There’s a reason you’re looking to meet someone new on Tinder, after all! Yes, there may be some mystery and uncertainty involved, but that’s all part of the excitement.
Use Tinder as an opportunity to meet new people, try new things, and maybe even discover some unexpected connections and stories along the way.
And when you’re ready to really level-up your profile and take some amazing photos to go along with your profile, get in touch with The Match Artist and we’ll help you along your way!
Unwritten Rules of Tinder FAQs
What is the 24-hour rule on Tinder?
The 24-hour rule on Tinder is pretty straightforward — when you match with someone online, you have 24 hours to message them before the match expires. If you don’t message them within that time frame, the match will disappear.
What is not allowed on Tinder?
While Tinder is a great way to meet new people and potentially find love, there are a few things that you’ll want to avoid on the app.
Any kind of hate speech or discriminatory behavior is strictly prohibited, and there are various other community guidelines as well. These include:
- No nudity or sexually explicit content
- No harassment
- No violent, graphic, or gory content
- No spam
- No promotion or solicitation
- No prostitution or trafficking
- No scamming
- No impersonation
- You must be 18 or older
- No copyright or trademark infringement
- No illegal activity
- No third party apps
- And only one person may use an account.
Additionally, if you don’t log in to your Tinder account for two years, it may be deleted.
Do you kiss on the first Tinder date?
The truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. Some people prefer to take things slow and wait until they’ve gotten to know their date a little better before hooking up, while others are all about that instant chemistry and go for it right away.
See what feels right for you, whether you’re feeling the vibe, and also what’s comfortable for your date. Remember, it’s all good and fun as long as you’re both consenting!
How can you make the most of the Tinder features?
Tinder has loads of great features that can really help bump up your matches, especially when there are a ton of accounts out there.
You can use the app’s search parameters to help you filter matches by distance, height, age, or interests, to begin with. If you find that you aren’t getting as many matches in the area you’ve specified, consider going a little broader, or increasing your age range.
Be open minded — you may find that you meet someone more interesting, or someone who’s really into your cheesy lines, just by expanding your horizons!
Don’t forget that you can also use functions like Boost, Super Like, and more of Tinder’s premium features in order to increase your chances of your profile being seen by more people or getting more matches.
How much should you reveal right away?
When it comes to creating an attractive Tinder profile, it’s important to strike a balance between being informative and engaging, while also protecting your personal information and privacy.
Tinder is a dating app, not an advertisement platform. So while it’s okay to share some information about yourself and your interests, be careful not to come across as too self-promotional or salesy.
If you’re a parent or have kids in your life, it’s especially important to be mindful of the information you reveal on your profile. Avoid including personal details like your address or phone number, and be aware of any potential risks to your safety or that of your family.
On the other hand, if there are some things that are a dealbreaker for you, you should declare that upfront.
For example, if you only want to date someone who believes in God, or only want to match with someone in a similar place in life as you, make it clear so you don’t waste anyone’s time.