What Is Ghosting on Dil Mil?
While ghosting can happen between friends, family, or with romantic partners, specifically on Dil Mil we’ll be looking at ghosting potential matches.
What this may look like is someone you were beginning to have a romantic attachment to (perhaps you had already gone on a couple of dates, or were just in the talking stage) suddenly not putting in any effort in the conversation, not giving you much attention or respect, and eventually stopping replying to your messages.
While it can be extremely hurtful and cause feelings of uncertainty, hopelessness, confusion, and worthlessness, amongst others, it’s important to know that ghosting can happen to anyone. In most cases, it’s very rarely about you as an individual, and a lot more about the other person.
Is It Normal to Be Ghosted on Dil Mil?
While we’d like to say that it’s unusual, the truth is that ghosting — especially on dating apps — has become an easy way for people to end a relationship without direct conflict.
While it’s not necessarily normal, it isn’t uncommon. A survey by Plenty of Fish even found that a ginormous 80% of those polled had been ghosted!
Ghosting can happen for many reasons. Sometimes there’s no spark, sometimes the other person could be scared off, sometimes someone realizes that your location and theirs is just too difficult to make a relationship work, sometimes there are issues in the other person’s life.
Either way, on a dating app — when all you are is a photo and message on a screen — it can feel a lot easier to simply drop everything and walk away without an explanation.
We definitely don’t condone this behavior, as we believe everyone deserves closure and to be treated with respect. But we also understand why ghosting can feel like the easiest choice out of all of your options.
And, while you may feel a sense of betrayal, even heartbreak if you were falling in love with the other person, it’s important to know that the grief and loss you may feel over one ghost doesn’t mean you may have to endure solitude for the rest of your life.
If you consider the fact that there are 1.3 billion people in India, plus about 4 million Indian diaspora in the U.S., when you’re using an app for matchmaking in South Asian communities, that’s an awful lot of fish in the sea.
Create a Ghosting Pact
One way that you can try to prevent you and a potential match from ghosting each other is by creating a ghosting pact. Or an anti-ghosting pact may be more accurate.
An anti-ghosting pact is when you and your match mutually agree not to ghost each other.
While it can be used in any situation — for example, the company Peanut, designed to connect women, encourages all of its members to make an anti-ghosting pact — it’s particularly helpful in a dating situation.
By laying it out from the start you can avoid the fear and anxiety of being ghosted, and also make it clear to your match what you expect from them, and what they should expect from you. After all, nobody’s a mind reader!
Upfront and honest communication, as well as setting boundaries and clear expectations, could make a world of difference in your dating life.
So be open from the start and create an anti-ghosting pact!
The History of Ghosting
While the actual term “ghosting” didn’t make it into the Merriam-Webster dictionary until 2017, it’s been used colloquially since the 1990s.
The first known example of ghosting in its current usage was in 1996, when a golf enthusiast on Usenet said, “My instructor ‘ghosted’ me… should I lose the bum.” However, it wasn’t until 2015 when Charlize Theron famously ghosted her then-fiancé Sean Penn by ignoring his calls and texts that the term entered the mainstream.
Bree Jenkins, a dating coach in Los Angeles, notes that while the actual term is fairly modern, the act of ghosting itself is not, having found reference to someone “going out for a loaf of bread and never coming back”, or leaving parties and social situations without saying goodbye or giving any notice.
So, apparently, even before Google, social media, and dating apps, people were afraid of confrontation!
Common Signs of Ghosting Behavior on Dil Mil
While the actual act of ghosting is pretty clear — you won’t receive any responses to your messages — the process can be fairly slow and creep up on you.
Here’s some things to look out for:
They won’t share personal information with you
They’d rather do anything else than meet your family or friends
They bail on plans you make with them
They won’t make any commitments
Their social media posts and profile suddenly disappear
Their communication starts to lag and they very rarely respond
They don’t seem very interested in your conversation
Their comments are shallow and lack depth.
Pros of Ghosting a Match
While we recommend that you should always attempt to be open and honest about your feelings when it comes to a potential match, sometimes you may have a valid reason for wanting to ghost. And, in some cases, it may even be advisable to do so.
You may want to ghost if your match:
Is being disrespectful or “negging” you in any way
Is being especially flaky and can’t commit to plans (either virtual or IRL)
Won’t stop talking about their ex (red flag!)
Is too career-focused and doesn’t have any work-life balance
Is a catfish (run away!).
Additionally, people may think that ghosting a match could be:
Easier and less confrontational
Not taken as seriously, as it’s all online or through a screen.
In our opinion, the only acceptable time to ghost someone is if they’ve been inappropriate, harassing you, abusive, or threatening. In that case, not only should you ghost them, you should also block and report them in your chat options menu!
Cons of Ghosting a Match
Now, while ghosting may seem like an easy way to disentangle yourself from someone you’re not interested in, you should be aware of the cons. These include:
You can cause emotional distress to the other person (they may feel panic, loneliness, helplessness, or even depression)
It reinforces the idea that ghosting is acceptable
It could cause the ghosted to develop trust issues and an emptiness around relationships
It doesn’t allow either party to grow personally
It stunts communication skills.
Example of Ghosting Someone
Ghosting can have a significant impact on the person who’s been ghosted. Here’s a real life ghosting example.
Laura met someone who ghosted her not once, but twice.
In 2017 she met someone on an app whom she clicked with instantly. On their first date, things seemed to be heading in the right direction. But when he left to travel (something he did often), he ghosted her and left her “a wreck”.
Two years later, her ghost reappeared. They reconciled for three months, until he ghosted again, and Laura was left wondering if he was even alive.
It turned out that not only was he alive, his “roommate ex-girlfriend” was actually his very-much-still-current girlfriend.
In this case, the ghost was using dating apps to hide their infidelity. One could assume that their periods of ghosting were related to their relationship with their girlfriend, which left Laura feeling heartbroken, worried, hurt, and betrayed.
However, this is a happy ending to this particular story! Laura eventually reached out to her ghost’s “ex-girlfriend”, had an “amazing, healthy conversation”, and became friends!
A 2018 study on ghosting found that those who were more likely to believe in destiny were also more likely to ghost a match. However, aside from this study, there have been very few done on the phenomenon of ghosting.
That’s why Girls Chase conducted a survey of 294 participants to collect a little more data, and these were some of their findings.
Roughly 71% of men aged 18–25 have been ghosted. For the 25–36 age group, 74% of men have been ghosted. However, in the 36+ age group, 71% of men have been ghosted
When you take relationships out of the equation, single men 36+ have been ghosted 57%, which is significantly less than those who have been in relationships
Men are more likely to be ghosted by multiple women (particularly in the 18–35 age group), likely because they’re talking to several people at the same time
Men become “more dateable” as they age and are ghosted less.
Around 83% of women aged 18–25 have been ghosted. A further 79% have been ghosted in the 25–36 age group, and 68% of women in the 36+ age group have been ghosted
Women who are in relationships are 2.7 times more likely to not have been ghosted in the 18–25 age group, 6.2 times more likely in the 26–35 age group, and 4.3 times more likely in the 36+ age group
Women are ghosted more often (overall) than men are
The data seemed to suggest that a woman’s “peak dateability” coincides with her “peak fertility” (18–25 years old).
Impacts of Ghosting a Match on Dil Mil
While ghosting may seem like the easiest way to end a relationship or communication with a match, you should consider how it’ll affect the other person.
Short-term effects of ghosting may include:
Feeling confused, anxious, panicked, and depressed
A potential decrease in their own self-esteem
Anger and hurt towards the person that ghosted them
A sense of disillusionment towards the dating platform, which could make them delete their account and app.
Long-term effects can be more long lasting and include:
Developing trust issues in future relationships
An inability to emotionally invest in potential new relationships
An inability to form or maintain healthy relationships
Trauma, anxiety, depression, and more.
One study even found that:
Users who were rejected (ghosted) had a fear of rejection following, and didn’t pursue romantic connections, even if they were interested in someone
Users with “self-protective tendencies” who were rejected (ghosted) were more likely to be coerced into sexual acts, and potentially more likely to experience sexual violence.
Can You Report People for Ghosting on Dil Mil?
Technically, ghosting does not go against Dil Mil’s user policy, so you wouldn’t be able to report a ghost.
However, Dil Mil does have a zero-tolerance harassment policy. If any of your connections are being abusive, threatening, or harassing you in another way, Dil Mil strongly advises that you block and report them to the moderation team.
Remember to take screenshots so that you have evidence!
As for ghosting, if you don’t want to have anything more to do with your ghost (and we’d strongly advise that you don’t!), you may not be able to report them, but you can unmatch or block them, then move on!
How Do You Know If Someone Is Ghosting You?
Unfortunately, if someone is ghosting you, you’ll more than likely know.
Your messages will go unanswered, calls unreturned, and they may even unmatch or block you. If you were linked on social media, they may have also blocked you from seeing their account.
In the worst possible case, they may even stand you up on your IRL date.
How to Deal With Being Ghosted on Dil Mil
Honestly? Being ghosted sucks — there’s no two ways about it. But here are some ways that you can begin to move on:
Acknowledge your hurt and feelings of sadness, and mourn the relationship
Don’t try to bury the feelings — allow yourself to feel them.
Talk to someone
It could be a friend, it could be a family member, it could be a therapist. Either way, grab a box of tissues, get ready to cry, rant and rave, and process it.
Go no contact
You may tell yourself that you’re leaving a door open on Instagram so that one day they could slide back into your DMs, but trust us: you don’t need a zombie situation here (ie, a match who comes back from the dead)! And you need closure. So unfollow, block, and delete.
Do some self-care and reflection
Spend a bit of time with yourself. Whether that’s taking yourself on dates, treating yourself to a massage, reading a book in a bubble bath, or whatever floats your boat.
Remember this feeling, and consider what part you had to play in the ghosting. While it’s very often the other person’s issues and not you, it’s still good to be able to see both sides of the story.
When you’re ready, get back on the horse
The world of dating is going to be full of ups and downs, but that doesn’t mean you should give up forever after a bad experience. Take some time for yourself, then, when you’re ready, start swiping again!
When you are ready to get swiping again, put some time and effort into your profile and switch things up. Consider rewriting your bio, adjusting your filters, and make sure your profile photos are up to scratch.
Once you’re paired with your professional photographer, they’ll work with you to get the most out of your four to five hour photoshoot, edit them beautifully, and get them back to you within two weeks, so you can jump back in the dating pool!
Trust us: with the amount of likes and matches you’ll be receiving, you won’t even have a chance to think about your ghost!
How to Avoid Being Ghosted on Dil Mil
Ghosting is always the other person’s choice, but not always for reasons that aren’t valid. While nobody can 100% guarantee that they won’t be ghosted, here are a few of our tips for how to avoid major red flags:
Put some effort into your conversations — a “hey” isn’t going to cut it
Make sure your bio is well written (ie, no spelling mistakes or major grammatical errors!) and avoid clichés
Be genuine — a match can see through fakery in an instant!
Don’t be inappropriate, sexually forward (if the other person isn’t into it), or impatient
Don’t be late for your first date
Remember to focus on the other person and respond to them — it’s a conversation, not a soliloquy
Don’t scare off your date by trying to back them into a relationship before they’re ready.
Alternatives to Ghosting a Match on Dil Mil
If you’re ready to leave the underworld behind for good and vow not to ghost your matches in the future, here are some alternative ways to end a relationship:
Be open and honest with the other person, both about your intentions at the beginning of your conversation, and if you want to end it
Don’t lead the other person on if you’ve decided you no longer want to pursue a relationship with them — better to be direct, than keep them hanging on!
Keep your message short and to the point (but remember to be kind!)
Don’t blame the other person
Allow the other person closure.
While you could also unmatch the person, we’d recommend being honest about your feelings first, otherwise you’re just unmatching them out of the blue for no reason!
And please, don’t “casper” your match, either! If you don’t want to be friends, better to be polite and go your separate ways!
Ghosting is an unfortunate part of online dating that most people will run into at some stage during their dating life, and on Dil Mil is no different.
While you can’t stop a ghost in their tracks, there are some ways to help protect yourself against ghosts:
Be open and honest with your matches
Set boundaries early on in the relationship
Don’t exhibit “red flag” behaviors (eg, being rude to others, talking about your ex too much, talking about yourself too much, being too pushy or forward, not paying attention to your date)
Make sure your dating profile is optimized.
If you are ghosted, remember that it’s more often than not a reflection on the other person, and not on you. Take some time to grieve the end of the relationship, do some self-care and self-reflection, and then jump back into the dating pool with both feet!
Ready to get going again and want to make sure your profile matches your new positive outlook? Get in touch with The Match Artist — we’ll get your profile pictures swimming in likes, and you’ll be haunted by ghosts no more!
Ghosting on Dil Mil FAQs
Is being ghosted a red flag?
While ghosting could be considered a red flag and indication that your ghost is unable to communicate maturely and effectively, it’s important to remember that everyone has different circumstances and reasons for their actions.
Someone ghosting you doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re a bad person, even if the behavior is unacceptable in itself.
What do you text after being ghosted?
In our opinion, if you’ve been ghosted (and it’s pretty obvious by this point), maintain your dignity and don’t continue to reach out to someone who has no intention of replying to you.
However, if you would really like to send a final message, you could try:
“Hey, I haven’t heard from you in a little bit. Would you like to hang out again sometime?”
“Hey! Are you still interested in continuing this? It’s fine if you aren’t — let me know.”
“Hey, as we haven’t talked in a while, I’m going to move on. Best wishes.”
“Hi, it’s been cool chatting with you, but I think we may be different communicators, and I need someone who aligns better with me. Best wishes.”
Do ghosters feel guilty?
While some ghosters may feel guilt (one study found that 65% of those polled felt “anxiety, awkwardness, and guilt”), others may not. It depends on the ghost’s background, personal values, and their connection with their match.
Ultimately, whether or not the ghost feels guilty is irrelevant, as you can’t change their actions, and they’re unlikely to change their mind. All you can do is learn from the past and move forward!