What is Chatfishing? How you can do it authentically.

All these new dating terms.. It’s hard to keep up.

The new one these days: “Chatfishing”

Now you’ve probably used ChatGPT or Gemini to assist your life in one way or another, if you’re smart and single, you’ve maybe used it to aid your dating life.

To define chatfishing simply, it’s the act of using AI or an LLM to assist in messaging or texting when it comes to online dating.

At first glance you might find it to be extremely in-authentic, and I agree. If you aren’t capable of talking like this without an internet connection (or a local phone LLM to get technical... yes it exists), then you probably shouldn’t be fishing in the first place.

All of the other blogs I’ve seen talk about it being this sketchy thing that’s ruining dating, so I thought I’d pivot:

How to Use AI as Your Dating Messaging Coach (Not Your Ghostwriter)

I believe I’ve figured out a way to let AI assist your chatting, but keep it mostly-authentic.

Again, I’m here to help you land more dates, and if you can’t message, you’re not going to even get there unless you’re paying her (would not recommend).

You might’ve figured out that you can start a chat with context to help you out like:

“I’m a 33 year old single male in Dallas, Texas.” and then ask your question. Context is ultimately what gives an LLM the ability to serve you better. Instead of a semi-vague context level, why not give it more and see what it comes up with?

To keep chatfishing semi-authentic (akin to typing vs. writing something out sort of assistance), you need to give it any idea of what you’re interested in, your style of writing, etc.

I’d recommend sitting down with a google doc and writing out who you are, your dating goals, and some examples of text conversations you’ve had that were successful in getting you to a first date. When you do this, ChatGPT is much more likely to give you outputs that are closer to what you would say.

This is where it is only “semi” authentic, but I would say if you can learn from GPT and vow to message better in the future, why not?

When to Deploy Your AI Dating Assistant (And When to Put Your Phone Down)

It’s not cheating to read an encyclopedia to answer someone’s question if you keep that knowledge in your head for next time.

Use this when you’re in a pickle and want to ensure you craft a good response. Take that google doc of your goals and at the end of the GPT message, give it a bit of extra context:

[Initial pre-written context] + “Her name is x, here is our conversation history, I’d like to pivot and propose a first date.”

Ask it to give you a few options, and specify the tone. If it doesn’t feel like you, modify the message a bit.

AI, if not already, will be in every nook and cranny of your life in the next couple of years. Things that seem strange now will be common place soon. You might as well leverage what you can now as long as you’re not misrepresenting yourself.

Now go schedule a date before it’s the norm for single people to consider dating robots.